Collected Quotations
Subtlety? Isn't that a Medieval dessert?
Societies, like children, go through phases.
Before it's set in stone, I want to know who's holding the chisel.
Shit happens more to people who go dancing around manure piles when they're drunk.
I'd rather have a three-ring circus than a one-track mind.
It's a lot of work being a person.
Mowing mint is like trying to drown gremlins.
I refuse to be civilized by people I don't like.
Bards of a feather filk together.
Home is where you don't have to hide your altar.
Mathematicians -- always looking for another piece of pi.
All hotel room thermostats have two settings: too hot and too cold.
If everyone is arguing, everyone has a different answer, and everyone has evidence to back it up, they're probably all correct. The Universe does not restrict Itself to singular solutions.
A fine apple makes a poor orange.
Your character seems to have been sent to Hell due to a clerical error. So sorry ... s/he will be out any millennium now ...
A backrub is "I love you" in body language.
After all, if you can't wreck someone's cherished view of the universe, what's the point in writing?
There is no Devil -- it's just the Goddess with PMS!
Sometimes I just like to hand my characters some matches and wait to see what burns down.
Love and let love.
You'll have to excuse me, my brain just came unplugged. I'll be back online as soon as I reboot my personality.
Always remember to throw the match before you burn your fingers.
Featherball: going to Glory in a blaze of down.
The magic of speculative fiction lies not in the strange places writers inhabit, but in the strange places that inhabit writers.
Family values: realizing that all of Earth's Children are family, and treating them accordingly.
If the odds are a dozen to one, send out two dozen manuscripts.
Speculative fiction writers: we change the heart one world at a time!
Peace is never found at gunpoint.
The problem with watching Hollywood stars is that white dwarfs aren't all that interesting.
"Testing" someone to see if they trust you is like striking a match to see if it will light.
You know you're not a mundane when you yell at your car for not starting -- and it yells back.
This is an emergency. Please panic quietly and in an orderly fashion.
I'm a good packrat. I know where everything is ... plus or minus ten percent.
I just be myself and let everyone else wonder what to do about it.
Tolerance is decking the halls when you want to deck your relatives.
If you live in the desert, you don't need a word for "fish."
I don't hate your guts. On the contrary, I think they'd make very nice bowstrings.
The wages of sin may be high, but the pension sucks.
It's hard to see eye-to-eye when you're wearing a blindfold.
Warning: This universe is not user-friendly.
If this is the price of society, when do I get my change?
I can't read your handwriting -- it's too legible.
Some nights it just doesn't pay to get into bed.
Social glue has too low of a melting point.
Sleep -- it's a concept. Foreign to me, but a concept.
Why would I want to sue you? You don't have any money.
The road to Hell is paved with good inventions.
America's biggest problem is incest: Uncle Sam molests Lady Liberty.
If black is the absorption of all colors and white the absorption of none, then where does gray come in?
You can't keep spending water like money.
Watching America try to deal with current issues is like watching a couple argue over where to put the couch while their house burns down around them.
Revenge is sweet; I have a sweet tooth.
Truth, my friends, is a one-size-fits-all garment. It should not be hemmed, seamed, nor embroidered. Neither should it have an elastic waistband.
I'm sorry, that section of my brain appears to be write-protected.
Anything you don't enjoy isn't worth doing.
I made a reality check the other day. It bounced.
Trust all things to behave according to their nature.
I like your teaching style. It keeps me awake.
The economy isn't in freefall. You can't crash in freefall.
May all your days be Mondays.
It's totally off the wall, beyond the pale, and out of reach of the sane, civilized mind -- which puts it right up my alley.
Minor chaos is the spice of life, and who am I to deny that to anyone?
Who is the captain of her soul, would do better not to get drunk at the helm.
Does anyone have a proficiency in Duct Tape?
One man's sacrament is another man's sacrilege.
Why do worlds like this happen to nice people like me?
Wonder Woman can't be an Amazon -- she still has both breasts.
Do I get extra credit for getting kicked out of class?
Anything that can be killed is alive.
I swear I won't lay a hand on you ... but then, I don't need to use my hands.
Everything is research.
Your god, your rules; your hell, buddy, not mine.
Anyone who has to resort to chemical assistance for achieving an altered state of consciousness is either incompetent or boring beyond belief.
Don't bother me; it's been one of those lives.
No homework? Oh, good, let's start the assignment early.
The universe is a toy; I'll play with it if I want to.
The problem with letting things slip through the cracks is that eventually they sprout and rip up your sidewalk.
I'm an unprejudiced discriminator: I pick on everyone for no discernible reason.
The light at the end of the tunnel is burned out. Service will resume when hell freezes over.
Warning: My life is not PC-compatible.
If you don't know where you are, you're lost. If you don't care where you are, you're not lost, you're on an adventure.
A life without magic is about as interesting as a bowlful of cold oatmeal.
Reality is whatever you can get away with.
Lawful Chaotic: I need rules so I have something to break.
An open door is an invitation. A locked door is a direct challenge.
I don't have a problem attitude. You have a problem with my attitude.
Isn't it amazing how upset people get when you refuse to let them oppress you?
Change is like the feeling you get when you're kayaking down a river and the front end of your boat shoots out over the rim of a waterfall, but before you actually start the dive.
People meet as much of me as they can handle.
A barbarian is someone you hate whose customs differ significantly from your own.
Even a pebble casts a long shadow at sunset.
When you put your fingers in someone else's pie, don't cry if you get burned.
Without a noble enemy, a noble warrior is just another fighter.
A pioneer is someone who makes a way where there was no way before, and thereby changes everything that comes after.
Exasperation is the mother of invention.
Nothing is more dangerous to public decency than a bored bard.
If you trust someone, get it in writing. If you don't trust them, don't do business with them.
I've got a bardic license to drive people crazy. Wanna come along for the ride?
The only thing worse than hitting rock bottom is hitting mud and sinking further.
A writer is just a book addict whose craving has outstripped the supply and who is willing to do anything to get his fix, even if he has to write it himself.
Poor criticism says, "You can't." Good criticism says, "You can do better."
You know a man's had a bit too much to drink when he goes and takes a leak, and then puts the lid up, and then unbuttons his fly.
Sometimes the worst thing you could say is nothing.
In a good story, discrepancies should be either eliminated or explained. They should never be accidents.
If whatever I do is going to disrupt society, then I'm going to do whatever I want.
Never piss off anyone you're not positive you can kill if you have to.
I can't help being a cosmopolitan person; I'm culturally claustrophobic. If you box me in, I can't breathe.
It is not necessary to point out holes by sticking one's fingers through them.
A place for everything and everything on the floor.
May you always know when you are needed; may you ever know where you are loved.
Life is like a river -- it twists and turns but it all comes out the same in the end.
To the young, everything is an adventure. To the old, adventure is for the young. But to the young at heart, adventure never grows old.
Rare is the problem that cannot be solved by throwing sufficient books at it.
When you come to the place where there's no more road, is that the end, or the beginning?
All the important things in the world are done by tired people.
Any good thing can be taken to an inadvisable extreme, at which point it becomes a bad thing.
Being a bitch one week out of four beats being an ass all month long.
The subconscious is the place where everything interesting happens.
Absolute knowledge empowers absolutely.
Man is less a rational than a rationalizing animal.
When you pay attention, be careful what you buy.
This list of quotes collated for web publication and copyright 1998 Elizabeth Barrette.
Art on this page is from the "Scroll Fetish" set, at Moyra's Web Jewels.
The URL for this page is http://www.worthlink.net/~ysabet/misc/quotes.html and it was last updated on October 13, 1998.